C*cksucking boulder update

It’s been a weirdly long half-year so far, but I think we’ve put the hardest of it behind us. Or maybe that’s just the unbridled, sleep-deprived glee, and summer solstice, talking.

Either way, I’m feeling a lightness in my heart and a feeling that things are looking up that I haven’t felt in some time. But there was some serious trudgery up that hill to get here, and I’m a wee bit tuckered out from all the pushing. So just a wee postie to share these few things.

First, ask. Ask for help. Ask your friends, ask your loved ones, ask random strangers you meet on the street if you really need it, but ask. Stuff will happen anyway, but I have recently had it reinforced that stuff happens much, much more easily if you ask. So ask. And really, what’s the downside? A “no”? You’ve got that anyway! Ask! Everyone loves to help, including you. You know it’s true. So let those people have a little thrill: ask!

Second, sleep helps. It really cannot be emphasized enough. Sleep and fluids, but especially sleep. I now get how you could drive someone batshit-crazy-up-a-wall into confessing anything by depriving them of sleep long enough. Not sure exactly what sleep does, but there’s some kind of re-setting mechanism, and a whole lot of smoothing-out of edges. So as much of those good zzzz’s as you can nab, you know?

Third, do just one thing. When all feels hopeless, do just one teeny-tiny thing today that is within your control to move whatever c*cksucking boulder it is that you need pushed up whatever motherf*cking hill you have in front of you. Even if it’s just putting “Brainstorm ways to get c*cksucking boulder up motherf*cking hill” on a list.

Fourth, and finally, comments are back on! Well, sort of!* I apologize for the turning-off, but it couldn’t be helped. They’re being moderated for now, but at least they’re on. So hey, test it out! Let’s take this WordPress puppy out on the open road and see what she’ll do! If we break it, we break it, but we’ll have a good time until then!

Thanks, and a new, non-shower-cap, hopefully-useful video tomorrow.


*Mad, crazy, insane thanks to my gal, Heather Parlato, and her genius boyfriend Jason Brown. You are brilliant, your cats are outstanding in their field, and god bless America, you have a great patio. I am honored and grateful to call you my friends.

UPDATE: If you’re a subscriber, you may have gotten this twice. Apologies. I had to whack the side of my WordPress database a couple more times.


  1. Nice hat!
    Colleen, thank you for making me laugh out loud — numerous times — this morning. It rained at 5 a.m. and we have water in our basement(s) and you know what? I am going to learn that song myself!

  2. Wow! Just what I needed this morning and calling the boulders and hills names feels really good – especially when I feel like they are bullying me for their own entertainment.

    Tatata –


  3. Hi Colleen,

    Well, I am not one for using those words but I must admit, the song has grown on me and I was quietly singing it along with you….you are too much!…it gets to the point about just getting things that need to be done, done…and I agree; sleep is key to helping us cope with getting that boulder up the hill of life!


    1. Yeah, sorry ’bout that, Gary. I really need some sort of advisory under the video, like I have on the YouTube page. Thanks for being a good sport.

      And hey, feel free to bleep creatively, or change up the words as you sing. It’s the sentiment that counts. And the singing, of course!

  4. Thanks for making me laugh this morning! Especially since this half year has been the same for me…just trying to push numerous c*cksucking boulders up a bunch of motherf*ucking hills. It’s good to know I have company:)

    1. Thank you. It is my secret dream to have a video someday of everyone in the world singing this together, “We Are the World”-style. (Well, not so much of a secret anymore.)

  5. Just what I needed to read this morning. I very rarely ask for any help and you’re right – it’s so simple and friends love to help.

    Second doing just one thing and getting it accomplished is enough. Perhaps that’s why when I woke up in a rare crabby mood, headed to an early morning breakfast meeting at a cafe that was closed and didn’t have cash for another cafe, I decided to instead go and sit in a park with a coffee and enjoy to make my day that much better!

    1. I hear you, sister. I need constant reminding myself, which is one of the reasons I started this here blog. Public accountability AND reminding!

      Love your “d’oh!” moment re: breakfast, and your brilliantly simple solution. I’ll bet you have a kick-ass day!

  6. YAY!!!!!

    Welcome back to at least half your (howevermuch you started with) sanity. ;) I miss your sparkly-gawdd*mnit-to-h*ll attitude.

    I haven’t learned the “ask” thing yet. In fact, I just pulled everything in my low back (and gut!) lifting a full-size mattress to put on an allergy cover. Problem is, to ask you gotta let people in close enough TO ask them, and that’s where I get hung up. Doesn’t help my bestest-ever friends are in FL and VT, while I sit here in the Midwest.

    I’ll get over it. One day I’ll suck it up and take lots of anti-anxiety meds, and finally ask for help. First those sucking-up muscles gotta heal, tho.

    LOVE your stuff!


    1. Thanks, Annie! It’s good to be back. And yeah, it’s tricky, figuring out the asking thing, especially when we’re flung all over the place as we are today. But yeah, I think you’ll get over it, mostly because YOU think you’ll get over it. And that’s more than half of it.

      Although I hear those meds are mighty good.

  7. Thanks for the on-going humor and inspiration. I’m ready to move some c*cksucking boulders!

  8. When I first found The Boulder Song, I bookmarked it, and I have probably played it once a week at minimum since then. And laughed hard and long every time. ‘Cause I love it. And you.

    1. You know, I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I’ll watch it every once in a while to make myself laugh, too. The song doesn’t even make me laugh as much as how ridiculous I am. Thank god for bouffant shower caps—instant laff riots.

  9. Coleen, thank you! Love the song, the shower cap and the big-ass cup of, I hope, coffee. I’m in a rough patch right now so I’ll be learning all the words and having a sing-a-long as many times as it takes to sink in. Oh yes, I want to tell you how much I enjoy your poems!

  10. Colleen, this seems like a good time to mention I made a poster with “Push the cocksucking boulder up the motherfucking hill” for my refrigerator. It’s my mantra. My refrigerator and I have been unhappy since I took it down during a visit from my outlaws. This is an excellent reminder to get it back up there. I concur with everything you’ve mentioned here but most especially the issue of sleep. The sleep fairies decided to skip my house for several weeks (which happens periodically) and the medical powers that be threatened me with vile drugs. But I just recently began a pattern of sleeping for 5 hours a night. It’s nothing short of an agnostic’s blessing. And I should stop now because I can talk and type about sleep under 6 foot of wet concrete.

  11. Oh sorry! Given that the sleep fairies have only recently begun their nightly visits, I forgot to say this: THANK YOU for my mantra. I wish I could express how much an impact a seemingly amusing ditty has had on my life. I have quite a few boulders to deal with every day.

  12. Um, Colleen? I’m not sure whether to love you or hate you for this. It’s a combo, really. Love it because it’s hilarious and I so appreciate the shower cap and robe, though you can’t hide your glory even under that.

    I’m hating you because now the song is irretrievably stuck in my head and I may just burst into song (aloud) while riding my bike around Denver. Which would be fine.

    Just so you know, this evokes a love/hate response in me, which is just about as good as it gets, isn’t it?

    1. and I will be singing this as I walk up Virginia to the park in Denver this afternoon. I’ll be the one laughing and singing — toot if you go by on your bike!

  13. Oh, my gosh. Laughing and snorting my head off. Bless you, bless your shower cap, your guitar, and Naomi Dunford for directing me here.

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