Earlier in this hellish undertaking, I tossed off a remark about wanting treats, and wondered aloud what form they should take.
Should they be consumables and services, things like journals and soaps, massages or coaching sessions? Stuff that I can use and enjoy, but that doesn’t stick around and add to the problem I’m working hard to eliminate?
Or should they be strictly time-based: an afternoon off to putter as reward for blasting through a shoebox of old photos, or a couple of hours of daily reading in exchange for 20 minutes of hard-core weeding in my “@action” gmail tag? Given the nature of what I’m trying to accomplish, the removal of items that are blocking my path and obstructing my vision, it would seem counterproductive on the face of things to bring more items into my life. At least, not immediately.
One of the peculiar things I’ve grappled with all my life, though, is this Depression mentality. Or rather, Depression/Rockefeller mentality: either I’m clipping coupons and plotting out which things I save more money on by buying with gift cards vs. paying for with a credit card (my final rule: buy tax-deductible shit on a credit card, and household essentials or groceries or other fun stuff with gift cards), or splurging on a maxed-out 15″ MacBook Pro while I still have a perfectly zippy iMac and an operable, if sluggish, 12″ PowerBook G4. I blame my crazy parents and my even crazier grandparents, both sides, for the problems I have with letting go and with going to town (although admittedly, most people, my shrink included, laugh at my idea of “going to town.”)
So I decided that as long as I was experimenting with pitching crap that was no longer useful, I’d also play around with adding things that I really and truly needed, or at the very least, that would make life easier without putting too much of a dent in things. As LPC, wise scribe behind the magic that is A Mid-Life of Privilege (which you should be reading, if you are not already), said in a comment on my post on traveling cheap, sometimes one must spend a bit of money in the right places to get the most out of both those places and the getting-to them.
Here, then, a list of three pairs of things, stuff I’ve pitched and corresponding new things I’ve put into rotation:
OUT: Almost a full year’s worth of monthly disposable contact lenses for astigmatism. I bought and wore these while I acted, because Casual Moms do not wear nerd glasses (usually). These cost a fuckload of money and were integral to my getting hired and being able to work back in the day. Today, they had become things for which I once paid a fuckload of money and now sat neatly lined up in my top bureau drawer, taking up room and making me feel horrible every time I looked at them.
IN: A new pair of glasses I will actually be able to both see out of and read with. That’s right: bifocals! I’ve tried them once before, but wasn’t ready. Now I admit defeat. Also, the Highway Patrol in OR will kick your ass across the state if you screw up along certain stretches. With a two-year-old RX, I was looking at some PacNW ass-kicking.
BOTTOM LINE, $-wise and lesson-wise: I suck. Okay, I don’t suck, but hoarding doesn’t work. I’ve bought up multiples of lots of things thinking it would save me down the road. Inevitably, I grow tired of the thing before I run out, or grow out of it before it wears out, or the weevils get it, or…you get it, right? Don’t end up like my grandparents, dying with a linen closet full of 20-year-old bottles, glass bottles, of separated hair conditioner. Let it go, Joe.
OUT: Charming and stylish and perfectly fine cosmetics bags with black interiors.
IN: Charming and stylish and brand-new cosmetics bags with light interiors. Because after age 40, you cannot get enough light into your eyes, ever, it seems, to suss out the contents of the Black Hole of Cosmetics Death.
BOTTOM LINE: I foolishly spent 20 perfectly good dollars to replace two perfectly good items. Only they weren’t. Because I’ve already saved a good 20 minutes of fishing time. Ladies! Rise up against the dark interior!
OUT: Bags and bags and bags of clothes. Some that were barely worn. Many that were worn through, “squinty” clothes, where if you squint when you look at yourself in them, you almost can’t see where they’re bagging or threadbare or pulling. Others which didn’t pass the Dorie Test (“Does this make me feel sexy or not?”) or the Palmer Test (“If I saw this in a store today, would I buy it?”). These, by the way, are the two GREATEST questions to ask when shopping or weeding, especially in combination with a style consultation by the brilliant Dorie or her ilk.
IN: Two pairs of brand, spanking new pants from the Gap that actually fit, one of which I took immediately to the tailor to make sure it did. Two new bras, because everything looks better when the girls are in good hands. A slew of new underpants (Mom, I’m ready to get hit by that bus, finally!). And, because dammit, it’s fun, a couple more vintage leather jackets and a pair of completely useless, 100% awesome pants with a Pucci-esque print.
BOTTOM LINE: Like it or not, clothes are costumes. You’ll feel better if you’re well-turned out. I can almost guarantee this.
The most important thing, of course, is the Getting Rid Of. But it is worth looking at where life might be made better by loosening up the purse strings and acquiring: a book you’ve checked out of the library five times might be worth owning your own, non-scum-crusted copy of. A good pair of shoes makes walking easier, and may save you big on knee surgery down the road. The right jacket makes you feel killer delivering a presentation, which can lead to all sorts of wonderful things for you and the recipients of your awesomeness.
And the digging out might turn up a few things of new utility that can stay in rotation. I found a spare USB hub, set it up with a mouse and pad at The BF’s, and now have one less thing to trundle back and forth.
Of course, once I streamline locations, I’ll need to renegotiate my ownership of mice and pads.
But that is another post for another day…
xxx
c
Image by Creole Collection via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.
communicatrix 
I’m not a hoarder by nature. That doesn’t mean I don’t collect things but I throw or give away the stuff if it’s not useful to me. But, I live with a hoarder of sorts. You know the kind, “I may need that shredded wire to tie up a bonzai tree I might train”. And I realized last week after reading one of your posts that his hoarding was wearing off on me. it was actually starting to be like one of those partnery things, like when you start to look like each other (creepy). So, in the spirit of your courageous pitching and to reclaim my own getting-rid-of, I packed a box of books, two bags of clothes and a pant presser that mom-in-law bought for the man that was STILL in the box and out, out, out it went yesterday. Aaahhhhhhhhhhh.
The open space was like a deep breath.
This is one of my favorite solutes . . . especially because it makes me feel better about me.
Thanks Colleen
It’s tricky, this dealing with the clutter of others. Because while we don’t have the attachment issues the primary clutter owner might, it has the same deleterious effect. You want to get it OUT b/c it’s affecting you, but you run the risk of pissing off your SO (or kids, or whatever).
I still haven’t figured it out, other than to move forward with baby steps and extra care. Too easy to look at someone else’s stuff and call it “crap,” where if it was mine, it would be “precious, important crap.”
I love how you call it “streamlining locations”….I am totally going to use that. Hilarious! hahahaha
Thank you Colleen! As you know, my clothing clutter has stayed with me. Not everything, but some. Now that I am writing about it all I feel as though I know why I never let these pieces go.
Ah, so sensible. Sometimes “less” is NOT the highest virtue – sometimes it makes good sense to replace something that doesn’t work with the thing that makes that piece of your life smoother and better. Love.
Btw, about the final rule that credit cards are for tax-deductible purchases – am curious to hear the reasoning here?
Clothing is something I have struggled with for a long time. I completely agree with “You’ll feel better if you’re well-turned out.” My mood is often related to how good I feel in what I am wearing, not because I am shallow and materialistic, but because I want to act in line with my values of quality and competence. If I don’t exude those characteristics, I need to wear something else.
My birthday is coming up and my mother in law is taking me shopping. Therefore, I have dubbed this weekend the Great Clothing Clean-out Project Opening Event. Thank you so much for sharing the two best questions for shopping and weeding – I’ll ask them over and over. I am SO excited.