I know! I know! You’ve been on pins and needles, those of you not on tenterhooks. (Go on, click. I didn’t know what they were, either.)
Here’s the second half of my Sweetly Grouchy Look Back at 2008. Which, to wrap it up in a sentence, wasn’t bad, exactly, but felt an awful lot like having a baby elephant: a long time in coming, and at the end of it, you end up with…another elephant*. (Although, hey, I guess if you’re the Mother Elephant, that’s a good thing.)
All right! Enough of this jibber-jabber! Let’s get on with the main event.
And hey, if I don’t see you before then? Have yourself a merry little new year!
- Never schedule a haircut while your stylist is going through a divorce.
- The new stuff of today is the #@%*! crap of tomorrow.
- There’s no place like home.
- Especially when I’m the only one in it.
- Although visitors of both the two- and four-legged variety are welcome.
- Money is AWESOME.
- When the action is “networking,” the equal and opposite reaction is “cave time.”
- A multitude of puzzlements are made clear after spending a little quality time meditating on the size of the left half of the IQ curve.
- Just because something is the opportunity of a lifetime doesn’t mean it’s the opportunity for you.
- Blogging is nice, but it’s good to be in print.
- Doing stuff is a lot harder than naming stuff.
- Root canals are every bit as horrifying as you’ve been led to believe.
- And twice as expensive.
- And my previous dentist? IS AN ASSHOLE.
- Consistency may be the hobgoblin of little minds, but without it, your filing system might as well be on Jell-O.
- White people love their fifteen minutes.
- Having principles can be costly.
- Because, like the old saw about divorce, they’re worth it.
- Once you let your freak flag fly, it’s hard to put it back in mothballs.
- Never underestimate the power of a good subject line.
- If I’d gotten what I wanted at 22, I’d be dead by now.
- Ditto 25, 28, 31, 35 and 40.
- On the other hand, I’m pretty sure I’m ready today.
- In order to get anything meaningful out of your life, you have to be ruthless about what you let into it.
- Don’t try to manage anyone else’s expectations until you’ve got a firm grip on your own.
- Bread is the devil.
- The lovely, lovely devil in white vinyl hot pants and a push-up bra.
- There are two things you can never have too much of, and one of them is music.
- Random acts of kindness happen far more often than you have your eyes open to see them.
- Underwear stretches.
- A lot.
- Denuding your toiletries of their signage is a subversive delight.
- Surprisingly, it also makes performing your ablutions more enjoyable.
- Provided you have a good memory.
- There are many reasons to own Photoshop, but making people laugh is numero uno.
- When in doubt, engage in a little manual labor.
- Preferably the kind that makes the world a better place.
- “The world” being anything from your sock drawer to…well, the world.
- I’m going to make a fantastic old lady.
- Buy art.
- Even if you’re broke.
- Especially if you’re broke.
- If you don’t hang out with your betters, you’ll get worse.
- Fortunately, the opposite also holds true.
- If you really figure out where you’re really supposed to be, that you found it out late won’t mean a damn.
- For better or worse, 2009 can’t possibly be anything but incredible.
- I’m not nothing without you, but I’m sure as hell glad you’re here!
Next 100 Things: December 2009! In the meantime, you can still enjoy the even more distant past:
*None of which has to do with the fine photo illustrating this post, which is most clearly not of an elephant but rather that pachyderm beloved of French and non-French Absurdists alike, the rhinoceros. And because you may not click through (hey! you’re busy!), I’ll give you the title of the photo right here:
Someday, I really need to do a post on the use of illustrations in text. Or at least, of the way I use illustrations in text. It might be illuminating. Just like illustrations are supposed to be…