Believe it or not (and I barely can), I’m halfway through my trip up north. In this much time again, I’ll be back in the E-Z-Bake Oven, although I hope it’s cooled off by then. With The BF. And the Little Boy in a Dog Suit.
I miss them both terribly; I was kind of unprepared for how much. I’ve missed Significant Others before, but this is my first long time away from a family dog, and while I always missed my Samela, you kind of knew a cat didn’t give much of a rat’s ass about you being there or not, provided he was provided for. At least, Sam didn’t. (That’s what happens to foster beings who are shunted from place to place: wherever they end up, they end up wary.)
On the other hand, I’m already a little wistful about heading back. On the downward slope, time rolls by faster. It’s harder when you’re acclimating; you note every awkward moment, every wrong turn, every minor bit of discomfort induced by newness.
I think I learn things more deeply when I’m challenged, as well. A bit out of my element, I notice more, perhaps. I take more care, I take less for granted. I wonder, will I learn as much or as truly in this next couple of weeks as I did during the first?
The good news is that I’ve done some amazing processing on this trip so far. I’ve shrugged off a goodly amount of old stuff I’ve been carrying for some time, and am starting to feel comfortable in my newly exposed skin. It feels crazy-wild, liberating and free. It feels awesome.
The bad news is…
Well, there’s not much in the way of bad news. For me, personally, anyway. The world could use a little help right now, but it probably always did, and again, I’m only uncomfortable enough now to notice.
So if you would, please wish me luck going into the second half. I have a great deal of work to do, and not what I thought I’d have on my plate. It’s all good; I just need to focus.
And while you’re at it, maybe wish the world well, too. In whatever your chosen form: reaching out to a grumpy-pants, watering a flower, holding back from spewing venom-in-kind. It’s easy to spew, no matter which side of the divide you’re standing on. But it’s bridge-building we need now.
We will all of us get over the hump. Let go and breathe. Be good to yourself and to the person sitting next to you. Slow down. Or speed up, depending.
Let’s none of us flip out on this downward slope. Let’s just keep ourselves just a little bit uncomfortable, and awake, and aware of the people around us.
I will if you will…