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Hot dog with the works!

I have been getting better, but this intestinal healing is some sloooow going and you don’t want to push it. It’s kind of like going back to Baby Tummy. First, when you’re in a flare, you literally get a big, air-filled, protruding baby belly. Super-sexy. Second, in the same way that it might be inadvisable to feed a baby one of those excellent Chicago kraut-‘n’-pickle dogs with hot mustard and a side of chili fries, it is similarly better to feed baby belly things that are easily digestible on both the mechanical and heat indices.

Unfortunately, when you’re on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, your bland choices are even more limited. There are no breads, rice, potatoes, puddings, custards, muffins, English muffins, crackers, pasta, tofu, quinoa, milk, oatmeal, Cream-of-Wheat, Jell-O or pretzels. And, since the things that make those things illegal, sugar and starch, mainly, are present in minute amounts in most convenience food, there is also no soup, that mainstay of Baby Tummy cuisine, unless one makes it oneself. From scratch. Including the broth.

When you have baby tummy, the last thing in the world you want to do is make your own goddam chicken soup from scratch. Homemade “Jell-O” (juice and Knox gelatin), maybe. Chicken stock, no.

So life becomes very small and predictable. Omelette for breakfast. Hamburger and green beans for lunch. Banana in there somewhere. Maybe some (homemade) applesauce or (homemade) applesauce or (homemade) yogurt. Poached salmon, if I can find the wild-caught kind. (I’m not normally so fussy, but I get weird about genetically manipulated, pesticide-laden food when my immune system is being highjacked by 6MP.)

Which is why I freaked out when I went to my friend Kathy’s house yesterday and saw her son’s lunch. Or rather, smelled it. Broken up hamburger with peas and spinach, covered in ketchup, microwaved.

I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

Fortunately, I already had some (homemade) ketchup, so all I had to do was load up on peas, spinach and ground sirloin, hurry home and cook it all.

As I’ve mentioned before, it was not ever thus, and it will not always be. My baby tummy will repair itself eventually, and be able to tolerate not only the full range of the SCD (which is not only diverse, but delicious and far better for you than the standard American diet), but the occasional illegal that creeps in here and there.

Until then? Slow is the new fast.


Photo by dyobmit via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.


  1. i had a good workmate with crohn’s many years ago. she would only go to lunch with me, because no matter how many restaurants we had to leave (she always had to ask a LOT of questions before ordering, and sadly the answers the waiter gave were 90% WRONG) i never got sore, probably cause i don’t eat. just there for the drinks, you know.

  2. Hi colleen,
    I read your posts regulary, generally while im at work…I was just diagnosed with Crohn’s this year, I am 24, and can relate to so many of the things you say. I do the SCD too. I too have the “puppy killing” farts right now, a general consequence of feeling better and so then gorging myself at a buffet (what was i thinking? idiot!) I’ve been feeling down– because I let myself down.
    I hope you can get out of this flare soon.

  3. Hi Colleen,

    Stumbled across your site today and find it fascinating!

    I have been living with Crohn’s for over 10 years now (actually some sort of mutant Crohns/Colitis hybrid which made it torture to be diagnosed) and have been reading your posts with much interest.

    I have been fortunate enough not have a flare in several years (knocks *very* loudly) and am glad to hear you are getting better from this current flare. Reading about it has brought back so many memories of what it feels like to be in the midst of flare and feeling like you will never be the same again.

    I love food and all varieties so it really sucks when you can’t eat what you want! This is especially true at the end of a flare when all you want is to consume everything nailed down but you know you need to take things slowly and blandly. Yuck!

    The worse part of a flare, which only someone who has experienced a flare can understand, is the feeling of not being connected to yourself. Though you try to stay upbeat and optimistic there is something about feeling shitty all the time (no pun intended LOL) that brings you down and sucks vitality right of you. During every flare the comment I hear the most is how I am not myself and boy does that really suck!

    I hope you feel better soon and I will be back to visit again!


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