In case Vanity Fair never gets around to asking me about this, either

stang

The Proust Questionnaire.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Being plugged into the source.

Which living person do you most admire?

Jimmy Carter.

What is your greatest fear?

Catastrophic injury stopping just short of the release of death.

What is your favorite journey?

A long car ride with little traffic, excellent conversation and great music.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity.

On what occasion do you lie?

When it really, really, really doesn’t make a difference and would hurt someone if I did. Or when I’m too weak to tell the truth.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Super-(descriptor here)”; all swears (but especially “fuck”).

What is your greatest extravagance?

Digital cable TV, the second box.

What do you dislike about your appearance?

My bandy legs.

What is your greatest regret?

Having stayed in a situation past its usefulness to me.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

So far, writing.

When and where were you happiest?

Anytime I’m plugged into the source.

Which talent would you most like to have?

To write brilliant songs.

What is your current state of mind?

Restless contentedness.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

That they had been more courageous.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you suppose it would be?

I think I’m due for a masculine lifetime. Or maybe I’m coming off of one. That’d explain a lot.

What is your most treasured possession?

My paternal grandmother’s watch.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

To feel or be unloved.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Sensitivity.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Strength.

What do you most value in your friends?

Their courageous pursuit of Truth.

Who are your favorite writers?

Charles Bukowski, Jane Austen, Louise Fitzhugh, Richard Yates, Evelyn Waugh.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Oprah Winfrey, Eleanor Roosevelt and anyone who overcomes adversity to achieve his or her dreams.

What are your favorite names?

Lucy, Betty, Franklin, Homer, Arno.

How would you like to die?

Surrounded by loved ones, having led a good and useful life.

What is your motto?

“Tell the truth!”

xxx
c

5 comments

  1. It’s like I have a twin! (Fraternal, not identical.)

    Just kidding. I prefer Dave to Oprah, and I love my legs — and my father’s widow, who happens to be my mom.

    Pretty close on a lot of the other stuff, though.

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